Kubler-Ross Ashtanga
Previously, i have been in denial. yesterday, i went thru anger. today, i was initially thinking, "there's not much i can do, so the hell with it. can't stress on that crap". i figured i'd moved right on to acceptance. i didn't even do any research during class. just did the poses. problem was, i kept thinking about what i wrote yesterday, the issues, etc. and i kept getting angrier. by the time i had my "i'm as competant as anyone else" delusions once again shattered in the life process known as Karandavasana, i was so mad i wanted to hit someone. so i quit and laid down. screw the rest of it.
I guess i forgot that the stages take a little while and there's a few more before acceptance comes into play. I never liked her anyway.
But, i felt better lying in savasana. near my mat, a mom had her toddler with her and was playing with him. I heard my name, "that's John" and figured he must have pointed at me or something. I was going to maintian my hissy snit and just keep to myself, but realized that would be a total ass thing to do, so i looked over. sure enough, he was looking over at me, trying to suss out if i was a source of fun or if i was a threat. i reached over, picked up my hair tie and shot it over at him. he thought that was cool and went running around the room, going from mat to mat, showing it to mom and dad. so then i wasn't as mad.
after class, a friend was in the entry way. she had suddenly become nauseated. on her way to the bathroom to throw up, she asked me to cover her 12:30 class. "But I'm angry. I'm in a bad mood!!", I wanted to say. I taught the class. And the class was fun. it was in some empty office space at a big insurance company office building. Only about ten people. Most of them in the early stages of learning yoga. I probably worked them with more rigor than they were used too. I got enough looks to hint at that. i think overall that it worked out though. and i left in a good mood.
as lax remonstrated in yesterday's comments section, too much thinking. and, for sure, i was today. All i could think about during practice was some of the stuff from yesterday. No mas, for now. The rest of that crap is just crap.
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a practice journal by okrgr, a middle aged hacker trying to absorb the many lessons of ashtanga yoga
20 comments:
new keyboard? you're on fire this week!
During mysore yesterday I faintly heard someone get castigated for doing research poses while I was snoozing in the back. It made me feel good to know that I follow the rules in class even though I cheat at home and teacher knows I cheat at home!
No real point to this comment, I suppose.
why torment yourself about karandavasana? the only people in the world who can do karandavasana unassisted are casey and boodiba. at least you can fold your legs in lotus and do the exit into chatauranga, so you're way ahead of most people who are up to that pose in intermediate.
so, then what would i have to torment myslef about?
the joys of almost but not really close to being able to do have long since faded. after slow but steady progress, stopping dead for two years sends a message. it ain't a game of horseshoes or hand grenades. close is far. it's not enough
yes i know, but i already torment myslef about my typing too
I still put my face on the floor so it's not perfect. Guta, a woman who teaches & practices at Sutra, can do it perfectly.
If I keep going at the 3rd, though, eventually I will be able to keep my face off the floor.
All this rests on my staying under employed though. No way I could be doing this with a real job. So there you go. Real jobs DO get in the way of an Astanga practice.
you should totally torment yourself about karandavasana. I can't believe you're complaining about nakrasana and more poses and you can't even do karandavasana. jesus. Oh, and you may be 'competant', but I think it would be better if you were 'competent'. There. have I kicked you enough while you are down? You know I love you. Sometimes I just have to hurt you. Why do you make me do that?
As a fellow sufferer of the same condition, I will try to put it as nicely as I can, Okie:
your problem is that you think too much.
Love
V.
that's what i thought
Yoga with pain is not YOGA... so relax...
pain? well, i've never not hurt at least a little. so whatever it is that i do then
boodiba, fwiw, the bestest, by far imo, karanda in our studio is done by a woman, the wife of tim's mysore assistant. her husband is good too, but he dips sometimes, even to the floor. she just goes down, holds and then comes up.
i watched her one time in mysore class. her hubbie was adjusting people and saw me watching. he said to me, "it helps when you weigh about one oh eight". i laughed and said, "well i've got it down to around one eight oh."
hello? Hello? hello?
thank you for your recent inquiry. okrgr is not available to contribute currently. he is presently in a quagmire of stultifying vapidness. please feel free to check back every quarter or so, as it is possible that he may be able to generate an original idea at some point.
okrgr, come visit me in dr. bombay's studio. i have atheory about juniper berriies and how it is that i am the only person in the shala who is happy with where their at... and that is not even hardly even anywhere...
yours,
eeyore
um, hello?
are you on highatus too?
did you unlink from me? have we broken up? do i need to write another tibet post to win you back? what?
wow, okay. i'll just take my marbles and go home then.
maybe
see? you never ever answered me.
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