Friday, June 22, 2007

Sisterhood of the Traveling Buttfloss

Well, that was awkward. If you read other ashtangi blogs, and if you read this one, then you almost certainly do, there's a thread going on in a couple of them about giving each other underwear. Like most internet threads, it's hard to explain in a rational way how that train of thought got a life of its own, but needless to say, it did. A couple of them even sent each other nether garments. When I mentioned that our studio had some underwear with the studio logo, a couple of these undie fetishers volunteered to have me share the goods with them. I'm all about enabling aberrant behavior.

After practice today, I went over to the basket that has the nasty bits. I guess they restocked it for the teacher training, oops, ashtanga intensive that is currently going on. I mean that's forty more potential pocket books waiting to be lightened. Instead of the one color, one style, one size fits all option that had been there for the last few months, there were now several colors, a couple of different shapes, but still one size fits all. That's okay. All ashtanginis are the same size. I dug around for a few moments, until i realized i was getting a couple of looks from some women who had been standing in the general area, talking after class. I grabbed a handful of stuff and headed for the counter to pay. "Oh, that's an interesting thing for you John", said Amy, the desk person. "Uh, well, see I'm getting them for these people that I don't know from the internet." She, gave me that look and said, "Oh, really. I just thought you were getting them for your wife." "No, see they have this thing where they collect underwear from people who send it to them for no reason and, um, well, anyway how much are those?" She told me and i reached for my wallet. Oops. I'm like ten dollars light. "I can charge this stuff right?" Right then, who walks in and stands right next to me, giving me that same confused, disturbed look? Vanessa, master of the EZBoard universe, world traveler and computer guru for some mega bank consortium, in town for the ashtanga intensive (TT). I quickly shuffled the small pieces of clothing in to an amorphous pile in the vain hope that it could possibly be confused with some kind of an appropriate clothing purchase and asked Amy for a bag. So, she picked up the panties, one by one, carefully folding them so they wouldn't have wrinkles I guess, and gave them to me in a bag. "Those should look good on you John", said Andrew, Tim's Mysore assistant, as he headed out the door. I looked over and gave Vanessa a weak smile, proffering the concept that I bought women's thongs all the time, what's the big deal. Why is it you can never get as small as you feel.

Being the experienced, smart camper that I am, I had attempted to kind of advise the wife that said transaction was in the offing. There's no way I could have bought that stuff without somebody asking her about it. I'm sure I'll still get hammered though. What seemed perfectly reasonable when in the concept phase, in the harsh reality of public scrutiny becomes another self kick to the groin. The things we do for blog people we don't even know.

45 comments:

Carl said...

Don't make it out to be so unseemly. You volunteered INSISTENTLY to send panties to those ladies. Just be the nice guy and get it done. It will all be over soon.

Cody Pomeray said...

that's only half as awkward as explaining the man-thong that tova is sending your way...

Tova said...

you took one for the team!!!!

i think Laksmi has my address, i will have her send it to you cause i am not sure i could figure out your super secret code. and i am not too picky about colors, but i do like pink a lot, just like Cheri's Ghost.
hey while i am here, what do you hear about Tim's Maya Tulum "intensive" as opposed to his local one? I am thinking about going, to Tulum, that is, too impatient to wait till next year for the encinitas one.

You ROCK Dr.Acorn!

Tova said...

oh, also i tried to convince by business partner that we should get our store logo printed on some thongs but she didn't like the idea quite as much as me.
i could send you a shirt instead of a man-thong if you like, Dr.

okrgr said...

my wife and i have gone to the tulum thing three times. it was an annual get away for us, but the last few years, we had conflicts with some scheduled activities for the kids. it's as relaxing a vacation as you can get. they cover the same material as is covered in the two week course, just do it in a week. you'll love it if you go.

okrgr said...

his mt shasta weeks are absolutley great too. they tend to be over subscribed, but the list constantly turns over with people changing their minds and cancelling, even at the last minute. if you're interested, drop them a line. they'll put you on the waiting list. they're's as good if not better than tulum

Tova said...

cool! thanks Dr. Acorn!

laksmi said...

wow, what a great post, growling! I see that Tova has snapped up the pink--I was going to suggest that you just send the color that you think laksmi vimalananda would wear. I can't wait. Oh, and I guess you need my address? Or are these coming via a live person?

okrgr said...

well, i learned a bit too late that julie was heading up to billstown this weekend. when i see her next, i'll ask when she's going back there. sounds like she goes kinda frequently lately. if not, i can send them. i figured i could send them all to you and you could decide who should get what since you have her address too.

Tova said...

hey, Laksmi, if you like the pink, i won't fist fight ya for it. you can have it.

Rayna said...

OMG. it just dawned on me. are you not the quiet visitor we had at AYC in DC last week? i was the (overly) chatty person waiting outside in the morning.

a face to an alias on EZ board!

hope DC was friendly to you.

suzie said...

OK, I admit it--I've been drinking--(Fri nite & all) but your post made me snort, laugh, and roll off my chair sideways.

suzie

okrgr said...

dc was great. they are both really good guys. i wish i had known they stayed open on moon days. i would have come down on thursday too.

it was good to practice with you all. the studio had an unusual vibe. it was mostly young people like you. i'm used to places where most people are in their thirties and forties.

me a quiet visitor? yeah, i'm pretty much a wall flower. thanks for being so friendly. it's not always that way at other places.

the only thing i didn't like was that the whole foods didn't open till 8. i wanted to get some fruit and juice there but i didn't want to stick around waiting for it to open. so i just went to starbucks instead.

hope to come back soon. maybe if the boy goes back for a lax tourney again next year

okrgr said...

ok laksme, the goods are in julie's hands now. somehow, she's going to get them to you thru troys place. i'm out of the loop now. if you wouldn't mind, should they actually get to you, could you send tova hers? as payment, you get to take first picks.

okrgr said...

thx suz. you made my day

Rayna said...

glad you enjoyed your stay!

and thanks for busting us...yep, we are open on moondays. except, then i just get confused - i didn't know whether it was thursday or friday so i did the lazy thing and took friday off. :-)

okrgr said...

yeah, as i was driving down to the studio from cockeysville on friday, i had this panic attack that the studio was one of those that would be taking the moon day on friday instead of thursday. then i would have missed thursday needlessly and would have driven all the way down for nothing at 5:00am on friday. as i was going down 95, i was rehearsing the angry e-mail i was going to send, upbraiding them for not posting their moondays on the web site. misplaced anxiety, as i could have gone both days.

karen said...

My daughter informs me that Target now carries thongs for men. They also have string bikinis for men. For some reason, we both agree that man string bikinis are more disturbing than man thongs.

laksmi said...

Okay, mr. growling, i will send Tova's on, perhaps with a special gift from me. Tova, do you have a cell phone? No, I don't want to call you...

okrgr said...

thx. if they wear out, let me know. maybe they'll have some new styles by then. or even sizes

cranky housefrau said...

yes, i have a cell phone, but if not to call me than, for why? Heavens to Betsey...is there such a thing as underwear for your cell phone?

boodiba said...

Where are the underwear going?? To Laksmi??

okrgr said...

well, i would have thought over their hips, but photographic eveidence suggests otherwise, so maybe they'll be used as earmuffs? the thongs could potentially be used as emergency bikini top thingies? with lax and tova, who knows?

cranky housefrau said...

hey, i have never been photographed with underwear on my head. now, my son is another story. he puts all sorts of wierd things on his head. me, i'm boring.

Shantidave said...

a) is a man thong comfortable?

b) where does one procure such an item, assuming that a) is true?

thanks in advance,

SD

laksmi said...

hey, the widget wanker got to you! acorn, thanks again for the pants. yumm yumm. I think T is frightened of my blogging--asked questions like 'do you use my name?' nope, just your initial. 'but people who know me know who you're talking about' Yes, but I only talk about how great you are (didn't mention that post about the package...)

okrgr said...

give him the link. it can be awkward writing about the yoga if you think people who you know, like your teacher or your fellow students, might be reading it though. it affected my blogging for a good while. one part of why i slowed down so much for so long

samasthiti said...

My teachers were reading mine. I was a bit embarrassed but I got over it. Casey has a pretty rollicking sense of humor.
I don't like my sister and my niece reading, I never did give them the new link.

okrgr said...

shanti dave,
a) the terms thong and comfortable are oxymoronic, independant of which gender adjective is used.
b) from tova

laksmi said...

agreed, acorn. I can confirm that I have tried a number of them, even yc's procurement for me, and they are just uncomfortable. It's granny pants for me. At least T won't have to see my thong after having had the thong discussion with me (the post that started this was basically, how do male teachers deal with the thong?) Yeah, I've thought of giving him the link. I did tell him that my blog is mostly about vaginal farting, which is true.

Carl said...

I can't imagine why a man would even consider wearing a thong. Thongs are intended to eliminate panty lines and also make the wearers feel super sexy. Not only do men not need underwear that prevents panty lines, we already come prepossessed of our sexiness. We are each and every one of us a gift from god to womankind.

Boxer-briefs are the ultimate male underwear; they are the zenith of millions of years of refinement of male attire. No other variety of underwear is necessary for the modrn man.

Cody Pomeray said...

carl,

boxer briefs are the worst of both worlds - all of the bulk with none of the support.

the mighty tighty whitey will always rule!

Vanessa said...

Ha ha ha I was just reading your post loud to my flatmate and stopped to interject that I was one of the confused lookers. Then I kept reading on and saw my name in print. I have to admit that you threw me for a loop there! :-)

Carl said...

Cody, if your boxer-briefs are bulky then you have the wrong kind. They should be form fitting without being too snug. With proper fit, they give all kinds of support and they aren't bulky at all. Tighty whities may give you an illusion of proper support but they really only create a sort of ledge to flop your junk onto. There is a better way.

laksmi said...

I see a male underwear exchange opportunity here. Carl, send Cody a pair of your favorite junk shrouds and let him try them on for size.

okrgr said...

vanessa, i think i could have pulled it off with aplomb if you hadn't come in just as i was getting the goods.

laksmi said...

I think you secretly wanted to be caught. It was a cry for help.

Cody Pomeray said...

the underwear exchange is passe. We're moving on to music trades!

Carl said...

First, people merely swapped songs they liked. Then peer-to-peer music trading software came to be.

Along came underwear swapping. Will there be P2P bloomer bootlegging in the internet's future? Does the underwear industry have the financial cojones to stop a Knicker Napster?

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Anonymous said...

Wow, that's crazy man. They should really try to do something to fix that.

Anonymous said...

Do you even speak English? Seriously, wall of text crits me for 99999k.

Anonymous said...

Nice post, kind of drawn out though. Really good subject matter though.

Anonymous said...

Nice post, kind of drawn out though. Really good subject matter though.